#more because I see him as the canary in the coal mine for the show’s original characters than anything about him specifically

[joshuaalbert]

mixed feelings on the friendship one death bc on one hand like god it would be so devastating losing a member of your crew after 7 years when you were all supposed to grow old together and make it back to earth together but on the other hand it probably would have hit harder if it was a character anyone in the audience was really attached to

[whereispearlescentmoon]

I have some thoughts based on this post by @cattimeswithjellie

The user made a point that Pearl’s deaths have all revealed hidden dangers of the wild card mechanics, and going along with her being referred to as a canary this episode, I honestly think that’s a better canary metaphor than the one used for Jimmy.

Canaries dropping dead in a coal mine signal that there is carbon monoxide (an odorless and colorless gas), they show a hidden danger. Miners could then avoid that danger. Canaries were useful because they were companions, they kept spirits up in the dark, but mostly they were useful because when they died you knew it was time to leave because something has gone wrong. You can see falling rocks, you can see when you’ve hit water, you can feel an earthquake, but you can’t see gas. Pearl is signaling hidden dangers, her deaths are a warning to not do what she did.

Jimmy has been called a canary because he’s the first one to die, a signal that deaths are going to start happening faster now. But that’s not a hidden danger, everyone knows the death is going to start. It’s why calling his curse the “canary” curse has never sat right with me. It’s less canary and more the first leaf to go brown, or the gunshot before a race. It’s a signal of the start of what we all knew was going to happen. You can’t run from what got him. His deaths are the beginning of the end, not a signal that something you didn’t see coming is happening.

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Izutsumi! and Elves

Chilchuck my love, you so fucking asked for that one.

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You woke him from his nap!!

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Asfslkfjsk was the fact that Senshi accidentally made this guy in the show? I don't remember it.

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I love how this fight showcases how fast Izutsumi is. Girl's got a Dex of like 22.

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Fuckin' tragic that this is just a chapter cover and they never actually, so far as I'm aware, dress in sheepskins the way they dressed in frogskins.

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Not to be Edgy(TM) but I'm pretty sure that by this definition, humans, especially magic-users, are also "monsters."

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The green-growing, snow-free cavern with the barometz suddenly appearing is I'm pretty sure the most blatant the dungeon has been so far about giving people what they want - except possibly for this usually hot & humid floor being freezing in the first place, just because Laios said he didn't like the heat.

I hope it keeps doing this sort of thing after he becomes king. I know that's not how this works but god I love a sentient land, especially one that tries to accommodate its people. Alas that this one's all a honey trap for flies.

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It's very clear to me that, while Izutsumi may genuinely prefer to avoid strenuous effort, either physical or emotional, most of her argument with Marcille in this chapter is about her testing the boundaries of the group's tolerance for her. Where she was before, they'd tell her, "You'd think you could be a little more grateful to us for taking you in." And this is a philosophy that Tade, Izutsumi's closest friend and the one other subordinate-due-to-species person among them, bought into:

Izutsumi was skeptical...but that's still what she lived with. Until now, with this new group, where she's getting mixed messages - or, what feels like mixed messages, between what the group does and says and what she thinks they're saying based on her past experience.

Chilchuck calls her a beast, then basically has her act as distracting bait for a dangerous period of time while the rest of the party (is busy being injured or tending to the injured) does nothing to help, and all Chilchuck does to help Izutsumi kill the ice golem is mark its weak point for her. But then he compliments her skills, apologizes for being rude, and gives her her own pack and bedroll, truly welcoming her to the group. And when she remarks sarcastically that nobody cares about a beast being naked, Marcille only redoubles her efforts to help her keep her modesty, while the others bind Laios's eyes because he's the one who's going to Make It Weird - not Izursumi. Laios stays blindfolded throughout the steam bath scene because the party respects Izutsumi as a person.

So then she starts that fight over food, partly because she genuinely doesn't want to eat gross things - and more importantly, doesn't want to risk becoming even more a monster than most people already view her. But also because she wants, perhaps subconsciously, to see what happens when she's "supposed" to be a "team member" now but she disobeys the more senior members of the group.

This chapter threads two needles, builds two distinctions: between "earning your place" and "pulling your fair weight", and between "doing things you don't like for others (on their orders/for their goals)" and "doing things you don't like for you (for your own goals)." I think it...could do better at it? Like, Tade is kinda failing at step 1, because it's not clear to me that she realizes needing to "be useful" in order to stay is inherently fucked up. But she DOES think of that as her personal goal, even if it's actually externally imposed, and she's okay with putting in hard, sometimes unpleasant work in order to achieve it.

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Kabru internally, triumphantly: CAHOOOOOOOOTS!

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{fond sigh} the Elves from the West on their white ships with avian figureheads... They may be dicks, but we do love a Tolkien reference.

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CANARIES IN THE COAL MINE. I have NO idea if that translation is intended but my god I love it. If it's deliberate, is it a subversion of that concept or is it an indication of what the Elvish government thinks of their crack team of dungeon-delvers?

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BIGGEST, BLUEST EYES OF PERFECT* HONESTY*...followed by the visible pupils of honest evasion. Man, I'm really enjoying the Shuro-Kabru dynamic here, too? Shuro like, "Don't bullshit me. I'm a prince. I'm willing to help, but I know a politician when I see one." They vibe, your honor. They bonded over one of the weirdest and most traumatic meals of both their lives.

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LMAOOOO. This was NOT in the show!

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I love how Namari greets him excitedly and immediately asks for news of Falin, and Shuro says nothing but, really, everything; and Namari changes the subject to something lighter that's still gossip about their friends. I don't really expect it to happen but I'd LOVE to see the whole old Touden party reunite in battle or just around a campfire again, because it's clear they were a very good party of dungeon-competent people who worked and got along well together.

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Srsly though the opening view of this scene is such eloquent dynamic-establishing, vis a vis the elves relationship with the Island Lord and, well, everyone else here. We heard people muttering nervously in the streets, we heard Kabru's brief but heartfelt story of Utaya... And now we get this:

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The words of a man who would definitely for sure not have a single problem, not a one!

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Wait, what shady side business did Shuro have?! I love that Chilchuck is objectively the most reputable person in the party... Except really he fits in with the others: I bet a lot of parties don't want to hire That Bitchy Pushy Halffoot, any more than they want to hire an Easterner with weird vibes or the daughter of an infamous thief. (Or a mysterious elvish mage who won't explain her real reasons for wanting to explore dungeons, but Marcille would've joined the Touden party anyway, for Falin.)

It shows how Laios's trust of others pays off just as often as it doesn't.

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THIS IS IT, THIS SORT OF IMAGINE SPOT IS WHY I LOVE KABRU VERY MUCH.

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THE WORDS OF A MAN WHO WILL DEFINITELY FOR SURE NOT HAVE A SINGLE PROBLEM, NOT A ONE!

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...hot.

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kitty cat

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I like how this sort of comment is obviously genuinely hurting Laios, and Chilchuck does kinda genuinely mean it, but also he's saying it more reflexively than anything. Laios says or does something Particularly Fucking Weird; Chilchuck comments and keeps going along with him. I do look forward to Chilchuck growing accepting of Laios's weirdness rather than just resigned, but it's a good character beat all around.

[possum-quesadilla]

Chapter 9 of Lonely Remnants, “But in the end if I lose my voice, Will you forget about your love for me? But I still hold out hope that someday, I’ll be worth more than all the silence left in my way”, is here!

PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS ATTACHED TO THIS CHAPTER BEFORE PROCEEDING. THIS CHAPTER IS PARTICULARLY ROUGH.

:)

Extras below!

- The lyrics for this chapter’s title are from “Canary in a Coal Mine” by The Crane Wives! It’s meant to be from mostly Lawrence’s perspective. (Also just a little bit of the Shoggoth.)

- “I weren’t even gone too long.” - I love Lawrence’s stupid accent!! Partially inspired by family members from the south, but also HEAVILY inspired by Benoit Blanc. He hid it most of the time, hence why it wasn’t too present in any flashbacks, but he is too confused and such to hide it here.

- “As per usual, the man tried to lift her and twirl her around.” - As mentioned many times previously, he did this often. Just wanted to highlight this :)

- Religious exclamations - Lawrence is not religious himself, but he was raised in a very religious home. He still uses a lot of the “lord have mercy” type exclamations anyways.

- “ “This… this weren’t how I wanted it to go…” “I know, I know.” “I-I wanted..” “Shh, we know. It’s okay.” ” - this dialogue was inspired by “Stay Alive (Reprise)” from Hamilton, because why not? More ouch!

- “… sniffling and wiping at his eyes with his shoulder.” - A skill I gained from years in food service, and Lawrence from various similar odd-jobs, is to use your shoulder to itch/wipe at your face when your hands aren’t available.

- “It seemed to hit him like a pistol in the eye.” - Taken from the lyrics of the song “Dear Arkansas Daughter” by Lady Lamb! Because OW.

- “M-m-” - you might think he was about to say “Mrs. D” here, but nope! He was about to say “mom”. Because he saw her as his mom. :)

- “… Barbara put the pedal to the metal, causing the dinky old car’s engine to groan and growl like it’s demonic inhabitant as it struggled to reach the higher speeds.” - Based on my own dinky little car. But mine’s not even that old!

- “There were no hazelnut-spread sandwiches left. As Lydia dug, she found all of the back-up chocolate they had packed was gone. No chocolate bars, no little Hershey's kisses, nothing.” - the Shoggoth got peckish.

- “The preteen swiftly went to dig through her bag, pulling out the motel towel the Shoggoth had squirreled away in there.” - They couldn’t resist stealing a few things.

- “She crossed her arms firmly over her chest, distantly aware that she was mirroring her father’s own mannerisms.” - See if you can catch all the similar mannerisms between them!

- “ “Lydia, these people-” “‘These people’ are my family!” ” - Realized after writing this that I’m accidentally quoting a very painful scene from “Dear Evan Hansen”.

- “You have a whole lot of nerve to show your face, Mr. Graham!” - Notice how he switched from calling him by his first name to calling him “Mr. Graham”.

- “ “Mmm.” The demon grunted, spitting out another mouthful of black and red, as well as a few teeth. His jaw seemed… crooked, almost loose. “Right as rain.” ” - Charles didn’t punch them that hard, the demon is already falling apart. But yes, he dislocated their jaw.

- “You couldn’t have just done us all a favor and driven your drunk ass head-first into a tree!” - We all sort of knew, didn’t we? Deep down. Still hurts to hear it.

- “The Shoggoth stared Charles down with some sort of resigned sorrow as he continued to yell, face beet-red.” - Hm. The Shoggoth makes a lot of this type of expression throughout the chapter. I wonder why?

Tag list: @raineisinkless @c0zmo-writes @musical-fiend @katslitterbox

(Want to be tagged in future updates for CorpseJuice / LoopJuice? Let me know!)

[two-sides-samecoin]

i kinda want to do this for every ep which i have to go back on ep 1 but i just finished rewatching agatha all along episode 3 after the finale with the reveals and things are making soo much more sense now

1. holy shit agatha is looking at billy sooo fucking much

2. fr when no on is paying attention to agatha she just straight up has no idea what’s happening

3. agatha lists off the things that the other three want which ends up happening. jen was unbound = she faced being bound. lillie was reversing her fate = she saw her younger self literally reversing her age and also seeing death. alice was what happened to mommy= she sees her mom

4. billy literally noticing that agatha didn’t drink her wine so her wine bottle fills up a little bit. he took notice kind of calling back the “it’s not loyalty it’s analysis” right now billy is only capable of analyzing agatha based either on what she does or what other people say about her.

5. lmaoo agatha’s comment of sure with billy wanting to drink the wine makes so much more sense now.

6. billy saying “i stray not from the path” and agatha’s “thank you teen” comment is actually so much more fucking hilarious. girls like well yeah you made the rules happen no shit buddy.

7. billy’s comment of “anyone can become a proper witch with training” about sharon is very interesting to me. like it’s now realized she doesn’t have magic but he believes that she can learn but girl doesn’t want to learn lmaooo

8. the door is an oven which i think is interesting when the girls just spent the whole episode talking about the stereotypes that witches gain over the years.

9. the way jen is the first one to walk forward towards the first trail - she really is the path ahead

10. holy shit there are so many shots just in general of agatha being in front of teen and teen/billy being off to the side. it really makes the whole rio comment of “you’ve been distracting me from him” so much more real. the audience is literally perceiving this that agatha is at the forefront and billy at the side

11. oh my god i just noticed another shot. when they start walking towards the house: jen is stationed by herself, billy and agatha are together, and lillie sharon and alice are all in one section together. bro they’ve literally been showing through shots what their future is going to be i’m screaming

12. broo the fucking card invite literally is a fucking reveal after you realize. “my age has value” billy kept changing ages in wandavision and now. “i’m no fun alone” billy has a twin and ends up teaming up with agatha at the end. “i mess with your mind” legit the fucking powers he has and also wanda’s spell in wandavision. “my tricks are well known” he’s literally the son of the scarlet witch

13. waiiittt agatha’s comment of “sounds like a witch” hits so much after that invitation cuz girl put it together.

14. you can really tell now that agatha is trying to figure out how this works cuz she’s shouting at certain points of “sure we do something terrible but if we don’t follow these obvious breadcrumbs and we won’t get the big prize” she literally was the one to come up with the idea of the wine being an awful experience since she wanted to see what would happen.

15. you really notice how much teen is coming up with this because people are saying shit. sharon brings up “to get these wrinkles out” which that happens her face is swollen. jen says that they’ve been poisoned and well look at that they all feel the affects of the moment. then jen describes the poison which suddenly they all experience the effects.

16. jen said “you’re the canary in the coal mine” about sharon and look she dies in the fucking oven

17. billy stares at agatha again noticing that she’s faking the face and pretending to be effected

18. “you can’t cheat agatha” ohhhh so much to unpack

19. oh god you really get how billy is pushing them and going back and forth. the drink in a very commending cold tone of voice and then he’s goes slightly softer as he says the word fine i’ll do it oh oh oh

20. agatha and jen interactions are soo much more interesting now and has so many fucking layerings

21. “they can steal your power but not your knowledge” actually has soo many connotions now. while yes it’s about jen it’s also so much about the fucking road and billy in general. billy commands the road and makes everything happen because of his fucking knowledge about a lot of things. he just doesn’t know it yet.

22. agatha’s vision is soo fucking interesting now because i think it’s her more so realizing that billy can just hear stuff and would make it happen even in fucking hallucinations. and also billy ms comment of “what did you see” makes so much more sense. he can’t see into her mind - he doesn’t know the entire meaning of this to her. and he’s so curious about it because he can only analyze her

23. lmaooo her cutting into billy so quickly actually makes so much sense now

24. sharon’s death is actually so interesting when you think about it. she technically was cured by the dosage and the door opened when she received it but also the clock was ticking anyway. and then she dies after the trail. part of me wonders if she dies because billy knows that they’re not a full coven because sharon isn’t a witch thus killing her off because she isn’t supposed to be there. but also with his comment about “anyone can become a witch” i wonder if he thinks that she is part of the coven especially since she went under the drinking the wine and at the end he carves her name on the door. soooo yeah all of the coven has to die except for one. billy and death are exempt simply because their both outliers in the idea of death as one is death and one is upsetting the balance and literally creating the road

[nonovyabuisness]

Life series X Pokemon :

Each lifers will have one ‘fully’ evolved pokemon that I believe suits them in all of the life series ( series such as X life or New life will not be included).

[Some members may have shinies ✨]

The members are listed in alphabetical order.

Bdubs: ✨ Scrafty

- Both enjoy fighting and look like they get beaten up often even if no fights happened that day.

- It’s a shiny because Shiny Scrafty’s green clothes (?) is reminiscent of Bdubs’ moss cape skin.

BigB: Breloom

- A kind being that should not be taken lightly.

- Also Breloom’s spores can paralyze or poison opponents, just like BigB paralyzed Grian with his gaslighting and can easily poison others by lying.

Cleo: Delphox

- Arson fox that is super effective against Etho’s pokemon and BigB’s.

-Also a reference to Witchcraft!SMP where she was one of the finalists. Plus Orange hair so Orange pokemon.

Etho: Bisharp

- Etho reminds me so much of the Shadow Triad so I decided to give him their titular Pokemon.

- I considered Greninja but as a redstoner, Etho might not appreciate the water.

- Plus it’s funny when the two scary looking beings are actually the most easily frightened.

- Fun fact, Bisharp hasn’t battled in so long that its blades have almost become dull (both are washed up /j).

Geminitay: Bewear

- In Limited Life she acts like a mama bear towards Scar.

- Is overall very friendly but is a menace (especially towards Etho).

- Now that she’s in Secret Life, Bewear works well with the cherry blossom and band theme she has going on.

- Plus, just like Bewear accidentally harms others by trying to show affection, Gem hurts herself and her allies by creating other alliances that don’t last.

Grian: Archeops

- Pesky bird.

- I put Toucannon at first and almost put Honchkrow but both look too serious to be associated with Grian.

- So goofy prehistoric parrot that is easily demotivated (defeatist ability) for the button man.

Impulse: Ampharos

- The yellow color scheme as well as the fact that Impulse is generally more on the kind, gentle side but is also able to hold his own.

Jimmy: Kilowatrel

- Canary in a coal mine.

- Kilowatrel is one of the best yellow bird Pokemon that isn’t too mocking ( Yellow Oricorio) or too serious ( Pidgeoto/Blaziken/ shiny Sirfetch’d).

- The pre-evolution looks a bit silly tho.

Joel: ✨Turtonator

- An explosive fella.

- Also a Pokemon that serve as a reminder that most of Joel’s trap/plan either don’t work or backfire on him or his allies.

- Shiny Turtonator because the shiny colors match Joel’s Green and yellow color scheme.

Lizzie: Togekiss

- Avoids conflict and is generally content with roaming around, peacefully picking flowers. Head in the clouds.

- But remains a strong and smart opponent that shouldn’t be underestimated.

*Volo and Cynthia war flashbacks *

Martyn: Trevenant

- A fierce and loyal protector of his home but still remains a solitary being.

- Trevenant’s ability to blend in with the surrounding trees in forest and gather information by communicating with the forest, is a nod to Martyn’s ability to sneak around undetected gathering valuable intel.

Mumbo: Sableye

- Hermit hiding away in the shadows (bunker) and using (end) crystals to attack.

Pearl: ✨ Absol

- Wherever they go, disaster soon follows. Seeing them is a warning to all.

- Shiny Absol because the colors matches with the ‘Scarlet Pearl’ skin.

Rendog: Sirfetch’d

- A king and a knight, unwilling to let go of their flair for the dramatics even after their kingdom as fallen. I thought of Kingambit or Aegislash but both are too serious and only fit 3rd Life Ren. Sirfetch’d is regal yet remains goofy like Ren.

Scar: Liepard

- Shady business man and his cat jellie. Both mischievous and not against stealing.

- Also it would be funny to picture all the Jellie interruptions as just him talking to his very real Pokemon partner.

- Jellie would definitely try to eat Grian’s Archeops.

Scott: ✨ Gallade

- Always honorable and upholding their end of the deal. But aren’t against using force to achieve what they want.

- Shiny so that the colors match ( also provides a good contrast to Pearl’s shiny Absol).

Skizzleman: Braviary

- A brave being that leads the team.

- All of Braviary’s dex entry mentions it battling for its friend even if it’s injured.

- The pokemon White dex entry mentions that the more scars a Braviary has, the more respect he’s has from his peers. Skizzleman’s skin has scars on its arms.

- Also Skizz is often represented with angel wings so why not give him a bird.

- I don’t know if it should be a shiny or not however.

Tango: Rapidash

- A being with a unruly temper that does not take kindly to betrayal or competition.

- Could have helped with the whole Torchy task.

- Tango is often represented with hair that lights on fire when upset, just like Rapidash’s mane burns hotter when upset or fighting.

[esther-dot]

In line with the anti-jonsa arguments, the only one I believe had some impact on me (this isn’t even in universe, it’s just in general) was that incest is inherently oppressive towards women. The one person who is not supposed to think of you like that, look at you like that - does. There is no safety for you to fall back on because even your family is not acting like family. I don’t know how this will translate with Jon and Sansa, because Sansa will expect protection as a sister and then them falling in love with each while knowing the other is their half-sibling is tilted towards Jon having more power in that dynamic as a man. Then comes in the question of Sansa’s claim to Winterfell and Jon being the heir to Robb’s will. It’s muddled up and the solution (join together in marriage) doesn’t look as appealing to considering incest here will still hurt Sansa, because of society being inherently systemically oppressive, and not save her or her claim. (This is one of the reasons why I didn’t like show KiTN Jon because whatever the fuck happened to “Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa”. I mean there’s a lot wrong with the show after that but it particularly pissed me off lol because in canon jon would NEVER do that and is the true air raid siren canary in the coal mine for Jon’s character butching (jonerys 🙄)) Anyway, lost track there, but yeah. And on top of all of that, how is GRRM going to paint a better picture of something he’s been criticising for almost 30 years now? Still a Jonsa though, because I am a clown 🤡

(about this ask)

It’s really hard to tell which resolution Martin is working towards! On the one hand, it could be about creating a scenario in which politics / love align and resolving the Northern succession crisis gives Sansa and Jon everything they ever wanted. I love tidy storytelling, so that is very appealing to me. However, I do agree with you that that resolution isn’t without certain concerning aspects.

The other possibility is, it’s a test for Jon, just as he has continual been tempted throughout the series, only, this is the greatest one yet. His brother, friend, the heir, the KitN himself chose Jon. As a Jon fan, I love what that will mean to him. The show didn’t have the benefit of Robb’s Will, so it felt more ooc for Jon than it could be written in the books. After all, Sansa is still married to Tyrion. Also, with different factions in the books possibly supporting different Starks, it’s possible Sansa sees the greater good (she doesn’t consider her claim much after all/isn’t attached to it) and works to get everyone to support Jon as he is older, male, has Robb’s endorsement, and might play a key role in winning back Winterfell so he could be a peace candidate / the one everyone can coalesce around. I mean, that’s a little hard for me to imagine with the prejudice against bastards and what his rep will be post rez, but Martin could write it in a way that doesn’t feel like Jon taking advantage of the situation and rather, Jon doing something he feels guilty about out of necessity, with the blessing of Robb and more importantly Sansa. However, if it is a test, Jon would have to instead defend Sansa’s claim. If Jon refuses everything and then parentage reveal comes out, they could marry at a later date when the relationship can be of Sansa’s choosing, removing the disturbing implications of the political benefits for Jon/the power imbalance.

I’ve moved towards the secret wedding idea (here are posts about that 1, 2). Sansa would probably have to suggest the idea herself and persuade him giving her a lot of agency in her own fate, and it’s potentially a callback to Jace/Sara and Rhaegar/Lyanna. That could happen secretly purely because she’s already married and she wants to be married before he goes to war, or because they don’t have support for it (maybe the North does think it’s icky or is very anti Targ with the disaster of Dany’s invasion happening), or it might happen before Jon is exiled simply because Sansa wants it. I’ve said before, perhaps the best way to answer Sansa’s fears are for Jon to marry her when he can’t have Winterfell, so she knows it is her, not her claim, that he wants. In that scenario, there is nothing for Jon to gain, it is love, only love that motivates him. It’s the most romantic of the options, even if it isn’t the happiest.

Whatever the endpoint, I think there are enough variables that Martin could make any of a number of different paths work and keep them in-character for Jon as well as avoiding backtracking his criticisms simply because we will know Jon’s motivations.

[fools-and-perverts2]

which character from bbc's the musketeers match up to the songs in the fool in her wedding gown

because ive decided it's my blog and i'll flop if i want to ALSO bear in mind i haven't watched season 3 yet i may make an updated version when i have)

Icarus - Milady de Winter SEASON TWO (she ran away, you could say she save athos flew too close to the sun, "who have you become in the wake of all that's happened here" just speaks to me as something athos would say to her)

Steady Steady - Anne (it's about an unhappy marriage, what else can i say, she and Louis both "lost [their] head, [their] sense of direction" also i love her and this is my fave song)

Easier - Margaruite (she wanted to be with Aramis but knows it can't work, "if i were someone else/would this be easier?")

Shallow River - Aramis ("i know that the promise you wear/well it ain't for me" is about Anne, he wants to be with her but knows it can't happen in real life, also "waste it all for the title/waste it all for the crown" is directed at Louis also this one's my other favourite)

Strangler Fig - Rochefort, from Anne's perspective (she realised she couldn't trust him and that even after all she's done for him he had ulterior motives, "you built your kingdom around me/now I'm trapped inside your walls/and all i want is to be free" is almost literal in this sense)

The Glacier House - Athos SEASON TWO (he refuses to admit any feelings for milady, "closed the gate on love forever" you could say, i chose this as opposed to how to rest because it portrays a -not wanting love- rather than -denying love- you know?)

Tongues & Teeth - Milady de Winter SEASON ONE (she's closed off to feelings and normal relationships and she knows that, "i will poison all your happy thoughts" she thinks she could never be properly loved but she will manipulate people into thinking they love her i.e d'artagnan also the way the glacier house smoothly transitions into this one shows how milady and athos are linked together)

Back To The Ground - Porthos/his father (porthos realised his father was lying to him and using him, "just remember to/give me back to the ground" he returns to the musketeers after his father turned him against them, also i love this song and i love porthos so)

Show Your Fangs - Constance (she's a woman wishing she could take back agency and speak out when she sees fit, after years of being subdued buy her husband she finally stands up for herself against him, "i am a lioness/fierce as i walk through the night")

Once & For All - Captain Treville (he feels guilty about not telling porthos about his father but justified it in his head, when porthos was arguing with him he knew he was being manipulated "im putting my foot down/weak knees and all")

Canary In A Coal Mine - Louis (despite everything he did love Anne, whatever kind of love that may be but he can sense she loves someone else, he's worried about his future being married to her and that she might forget him, "but i still hold it hope that maybe someday/I'll be worth more than the silence left in my way" speaks to his insecurities)

How To Rest - Constance (ik she totally speedran that arc but I'm talking the episode after her husband died and she had a brief mourning, that ep kept making new think of "the heart is just a muscle/with a rhythm of it's own")

[simple-seranade]

TW: body horror, death (life series, not really descriptive)

Some people love the toy gag, others are tired of it, I just find it a fascinating plot hook whether he is a toy or not. The head canon that Joel calling Jimmy a toy repeatedly actually turns him into one is everywhere and I love the concept. While brainrotting over this, I had an idea.

Imagine with me, for a moment.

Jimmy is a completely normal human, has been for as long as he can remember. He wholeheartedly knows it, and so does everyone around him. It’s just Jimmy, the completely normal human. Sure, he struggles with his self image a bit, but confidence is key! Fake it til you make it!

The life series happen. He dies first once. Twice. He’s not quite sure when or how it started, but people start calling him a canary. The canary in the coal mine, simply an omen of the death to come. A shock of yellow in the dark and grim, extinguished too soon. He thought nothing of it. It was just a phrase, a nickname. Nothing of any real importance, not definitive about him in particular.

Then he met his soulmate.

It only made sense it was through death, an explosion, the first death on the server. Tango being the coal mine to his canary, they said. The parallels grew, the amount of people mentioning it grew, the amount of times he heard the word canary as synonymous for him grew. 

It wasn’t even always bad. Tango called him Songbird as a term of endearment, and it was rarely ever said with truly malicious intent. 

But just because it wasn’t bad didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

It hurt when he bolted upright in the middle of the night, back feeling like it was on fire. It hurt as he barely choked back a scream, the skin on his back ripping open. It hurt when hollow bones and bloody golden feathers tore through the gaps. It hurt when fully grown wings developed in a matter of minutes, while Grian had described the process of his own wings growing as a weekslong process, from the forming to the baby wings bursting out to the wings being large enough to fly. It hurt when he cried, even as Tango held his hands, fretting and confused.

But he pushed through it, because that’s what Jimmy did. When things went wrong, when the universe had determined he was the perfect punching bag, he kept going, to show just how poor of a decision it had been.

So he got used to the wings. Eventually learned to navigate with the new weight on his back, stopped bumping into every door frame and tree and chest. He even started building up his wing strength and resolved to talk to Grian when this mess was over to see about flying lessons.

Then he died, a third and final time, and he was thrown to a new world. When he came to, he was human again, no evidence he had ever been any different besides the dandelion yellow flowers scattered around his spawn point. Not even scars on his back where the wings had pushed through in their golden, scarlet glory.

It was just an effect of the life server, the code had gone wrong, he was back to the way he was supposed to be. All of these explanations he heard when he asked the others, most just waving it off. After all, servers changed how they looked all the time. Nothing was wrong.

Jimmy tried to believe them, he really did. But when nightmares come of blood and hollow splintered bones tearing his back to ribbons, phantom pain still making him wince, it was difficult. None of the other changes had ever been that… painful. Real. 

Still, he kept going. Found a desert, built up a town, established a law. He was a sheriff now, dedicated to his Empire and making sure things were right. So what if a stuck-up god decided to make fun of him? So what if he was called pathetic, a toy? Those things didn’t define him. He was human, through and through, no matter what he had been just a single world ago.

Even if he was shrunk by a potion. Even if the comparisons to a plaything became more and more frequent. Even as all respect for him was lost, nothing but a mockery of a sheriff.

It was after the second time getting splashed with the lore potion that it happened. He was small, they weren’t turning him back, and he was just so, so sick of all of this. The Hermits had been brought in on the joke, and now almost everyone he talked to brought it up in some way. Tango was kind enough, he didn’t, and Scott… well, Scott said other things. 

Toy.

It was almost like the word was echoing around in his head as he sat in his sheriff’s office, despite the rage it filled Jimmy with. He wasn't a toy! He was a living, breathing human being! He didn’t have plastic skin, or stuffed intestines, or a pullstring, or soulless glass eyes that couldn’t see anything, not really, not truly. 

Every time someone called him a toy seemed to flood his mind, and tears pricked his eyes. Is that really all he was to these people? To his friends?

The air suddenly grew thick and heavy, and a lightning hot pain shot through every nerve in his body. Unprepared, he fell to his knees, barely keeping a pained screech from escaping his lips. He swayed, barely keeping himself from falling over entirely. 

Jimmy didn’t know what it looked like as his insides scrambled and dissolved and hardened and numbed and hurt. All he knew was the feeling of his bones dissipating, of the phantom sensation of something stabbing his arms and legs and torso, of his back aching as something pushed its way through, so similar yet so different to the wings he had once grown to treasure.

He didn’t see the way the tears in his eyes blended in with their growing glassiness, or know how his torso looked as the organs unspooled themselves inside of him to make way for stuffing. He doesn’t realize until later that the thing protruding from his back is a pullstring, one that doesn’t give him the option of silence if used. He had to look in the mirror to notice the stitches that had woven their way into the seams of his toosofttooplushnotrealenough body. 

He avoids reflections after that, because he is not a toy, no matter what his image says. He can’t be.

He doesn’t know why this happens. Why he seems to be forced to bend to the wills of those around him, to their perceptions of him. He knows he’s human. He has a real, beating heart, even if his chest just feels full and still from the stuffing inside of it, a complete and utter lack of organs. He breathes, filling non-existent lungs with air. He thinks, he feels, even though his head is full of cotton and his face seems empty and lifeless. 

He’s- he’s human. He is, always has been, so why does he keep changing?

Maybe one day, someone will see the signs. One day, someone will tell the shapeshifter what he is, about the powers he can’t control, about how he’s not the universe’s punching bag, not on purpose. They’ll teach him to control his powers, so that he was the one who determined his form, not the whims of others.

But today is not that day. 

Today is the day a plush sheriff squares off against a god, hides from his soulmates of past lives, and longs for the ability to cry all the unshed tears in his unbeating paper heart.

—————————————-

look, writing body horror is fun. plus i thought of the concept of jimmy being a shapeshifter without control of his powers was a cool solution because as far as he knows, he is human. and he is, most of the time. his power is just very, very easily influenced by repetition.

also i like the idea of mumbo finding him and being like “your powers are acting weird? mine did that last season, it was the moons fault” and jimmys just “my what now”

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

Oh my god the Mandalorian s3 decisions being a push to make Bo Katan more marketable for women makes so much sense.

I’ve been watching the flames of season 3 for afar wondering what possibly possessed them to sideline the wildly popular duo of Din and Grogu in favor of this Bo Katan stuff, aside from the obvious future content advertisement… it’s because it’s popular with women…

Like it’s a known pattern that corporations hate when something they’ve created aimed at men is disproportionately popular with women because they strive to keep a very distinct line between Boy things and Girl things. Anything Star Wars is for men, except the acceptable Girl Things like Leia and Padme and Asoka. But then the Mandalorian became wildly popular with women and they can’t just cancel a cash cow like the Mandalorian without milking everything they can from it so they’re like “well let’s bring in Bo Katan she’s for the Women now start making the toys”

I am so late to this but that meant time to simmer and seethe over Disney's decisions before and lately, and things I've read over the years about how corporations market to their target audiences, and how little things have changed.

I saw rumors and theories that KKKennedy (y'all sorry I keep calling her that but iykyk) meddled a LOT with The Mandalorian and Jon even threatened to quit, but at the end of the day the Mouse House has the final say and we're stuck with their decisions. I really don't know how the final numbers will look, how it'll affect their merch sales, and what it means for the future seasons of The Mandalorian. Maybe the hard pivot to redeem Bo-Katan for the bajillionth time will be the new cash cow or the canary in the coal mine (for The Mandalorian; I'm sure Ahsoka will be a hit no matter what). Maybe they gambled right or they've lost too many viewers who wanted Din and Grogu to be the heart and soul and center of this particular show. It's called The Mandalorian after all. If they want to claim that it could be any Mandalorian who's The Mandalorian of these season, then maybe Season 2 should've followed a different Mandalorian and established this before scamming us with Season 3. They were already trying that with TBOBF before having Din and Grogu steal the show.

But now that I've seen those rumors and theories, I could not fucking stop thinking about what happened when the ST was rolling out and when Rogue 1 and Solo came out. I could not stop thinking about the casting choices for Rey, Jyn, and Qi'ra, could not stop thinking about how white and brunette they were. I could not stop thinking about KKKennedy and others talking about how they wanted to bring more female fans to Star Wars, acting like Star Wars was exclusively a male space, which, what a fucking insult. I could not forget pictures of her wearing "The Force is Female" shirts and pushing this message so fucking hard that it would keep showing up in critical reviews of TLJ/TROS/ST as proof that Disney didn't know what it was doing.

Rey, Jyn, and Qi'ra were lucky to not have the kind of long history that Bo-Katan already had in the gffa by the time she made her live-action debut. It didn't take much to google her involvement in TCW and Rebels, and see what she'd done. I've seen commenters say she redeemed herself in Rebels by rallying the Mandalorians but are you sure about that? Are we still having trouble with writing redemption arcs after the fucking horrible one Disney put Kylo Ren through to the detriment of every other character not named Rey?

I wouldn't have minded Bo-Katan having greater involvement in Season 3 if she didn't basically take charge of not just the COTW but also the entire show. Watch out for the new merch of her with the Darksaber now. Probably the most we'll get out of Din is whatever happens to him in the season finale because Disney gotta make more money, amirite? Grogu got a new accessory so that Disney can sell new versions of him, so why not Din?

I truly envy the poeple who are having a good time or don't need to have these thoughts constantly in their heads while watching. I didn't have a good time and I can never turn those thoughts off. I don't have the luxury so I'm never shutting up about this.

ftr I unfollowed Okiro after the billionth time he called Din, Grogu, and Bo-Katan "Clan of Three". what the fuck had she done to earn equal footing?

[crimsonblackrose]

.

Demetri sneaking into the dojo going oh man I'm glad you're not Johnny he's a little evil and unhinged. But who he gets is Kreese. Which btw, Kreese, pretty sure no one officially made you a sensei yet. Which means, and I didn't notice this before Kreese, not an actual teacher, punches Demetri, a prospective student, in the face and never tells Johnny.

Demetri I have this thing about personal space which the other cobras are just going to have to get over.

Also demetri: Immediately goes up to a strange man and puts his hand on his arm and tells him why his tattoo is wrong.

I was trying to figure out how Kreese got away with punching Demetri who complains and tells everyone about everything, but technically I guess Demetri (in Kreese's defense to a rigged jury) could say Demetri invaded his space first.

Demetri Kreese isn't even wearing a gi. You literally walked up to a big buff guy with a tattoo. This is one of the dumbest things you've done. Along with determining Johnny, who pulled his punch and didn't actually hit you was worse then Kreese who does actually hit you.

At least Demetri high tails it out of there. He's like the canary in the coal mine, Johnny didn't kick him out just sort of tried to get him to stop undermining him by showing that Johnny could kick all their asses but pulled his moves so he didn't actually do it. So demetri sort of hung around tentatively. But Kreese shows up and Demetri literally runs out of there saying 'shit shit shit' which means Cobra Kai is no longer safe. The safety of your local karate dojo is based on how much it can handle Demetri. If it can't handle Demetri then it's no longer safe for students and needs to be audited.

Robby being very smart. Defense when's championships but people show up for the offense/blood.

Sam: says plot of episode, Robby agrees it's a good idea. Demetri somewhere sobbing.

Sam calls it a banana boat.

Daniel is fixing cars not teaching karate.

Daniel's first job selling cars was a used car lot in Tarzana where the owner thought he was 'god's gift to sales.' Daniel outsold him in his first month using Miyagi techniques.

Johnny has a red metal tool box, Daniel's is sort of a steel green.

See I'd write down all of Kreese's military stories but he admits later that he lied about most of it. But he is trying to win over the students with his stories while Johnny isn't in. And he's still in civilian clothes so he's not a sensei yet, still just hanging around. I do appreciate though how it shows Aisha and Eli hanging on his every word while Miguel is like this doesn't sound right. Because it shows that Eli picks Kreese over Johnny while Miguel stays with Johnny.

I forgot that the storage room was part of Johnny's space not the owners. He just didn't need it so he didn't ask for it to be cleaned out. It's been 6 months since the rent was raised via Daniel's revenge plot....which oh boy a lot has happened in 6 months. Also he's raising it again? Oof

Theres back doors from the storage room that go outside.

Johnny has bad credit, thus the handshake deal.

Miguel out here fact checking Kreese's geography. Which surprise's me none of the other kids are since they're all nerds. They do at least fact check their senseis most of the time, but thankfully the one it's safe to do so with, Johnny.

Johnny learning that he has to specify how they 'fall in' in neat rows and lines because of that first time he got more students.

Gingertwins being actual siblings....

I forgot stingray was in this group and Johnny does say he's a bit old for a class for teens. I do think maybe if he got more adults he'd make a class for adults, because he does keep Stingray due to money of course. His mom doesn't charge him rent so he has cash to burn.

Tory!!!!!!!!

Aisha is delighted.

Little miss hot shot.

She strikes first with a kick to his chest. Which just I think delights Miguel. Plus he's teaching while they're sparring (so proud of Miggy) Close the gap, you're telegraphing, don't let me see it coming.

"Tory with a y" I guess means she's supposed to be the Ali for the teen group like how Miggy's introduction was supposed to be Daniel-esq.

Daniel (I don't know your middle name) LaRusso, what the heck?! THE BANANA BOAT DOESN'T HAVE SEATBELTS?!

At first I was like why isn't Robby wearing a seatbelt before realizing there are no seat belts. I get that we love this car but putting your students in it? Really?

Daniel: Not cool enough to get the kids so I'll appeal to the parents at the beach to be concerned about their students safety.

Which okay, I get it. Daniel's been the sounding alarm on Cobra Kai since the 80s and he's probably thinking the way Hawk hit robby and then Miguel hit robby that up next somewhere in the group is a Mike Barnes and that it's only a matter of time before Silver shows up (fair).

But from the outside and the actual truth and facts: it looks like Johnny took a bunch of nerds and kids that were being bullied, trained them, gave them confidence, took them to the all-valley where they won and then let them show off at the all-valley everything they learned which included a girl kicking ass. Like...Kreese punching Demetri should be the true sounding alarm but Daniel doesn't have that information. Kreese being a bad influence and warning the parents like hey if he's actually teaching your kids pull your kid out, because he tried to kill the current sensei and did xyz. But Johnny? Daniel doesn't have a win against Johnny because so far, again, pranks: dick on billboard and upstaging him at valley fest.

And yes Hawk and Miguel were bad. Not only did they beat up Robby at the all-valley, but you gotta realize all the parents were there and they saw that for themselves. But also Miguel did hit Sam which will of course be a mark against him in everyone's book, but it was also an accident.

Oaks on the Beach country club. So I guess Encino Oaks has multiple locations for members?

So clearly Daniel decided early on that he'd meet Amanda here since she's already here, but didn't tell the kids. He's essentially kidnapped Robby again. He was supposed to be just teaching Robby karate and then just put him in a car and didn't tell him the plan or what they were doing other than going to the beach. Daniel, you gotta stop kidnapping Robby.

Jack Durocher parent of kids at the school. from a later scene the kids name is Kevin. I don't remember which kid this is. Apparently he's always on his phone which means maybe he's not a cobra kai student?

Robby's resume: Oaks on the Beach Country Club, LaRusso Auto, Tech company stealing computers. For a 16 year old he's had a lot of jobs. How very Catch me if you can of him. (book anyway I haven't read the movie so I don't know if it's the same but essentially this guy lies about his age starting young and just keeps grifting on people)

So either Robby lied about his age or Encino Oaks hires 15 year olds.

Sam and Aisha being not on good terms again is interesting. Pride and Prejudice has taken over the teen route now. Aisha complains about Sam to Tory and Tory is now team Aisha.

A guy at the mall grabbed Tory, and after meeting her landlord, her bracelet as protection is very real and very sad.

Tory has taken kickboxing lessons

She literally joined because of Aisha's performance at the All-Valley.

Ngl this comes off in the most flirty tone ever. Or sarcastic. But based off friendship we're going with flirty.

Lol Aisha says she poked little holes in the blindfolds, which makes sense since they had even less time to practice that then Robby and Sam had to practice theirs.

Aggravated assault is a year in prison and a 10,000fine according to demetri for his punch. Honestly everyone in this show is lucky no one presses charges on anything.

It also makes me wonder if Demetri mentioned that it was Kreese not Johnny and if he just thinks that makes Kreese cooler. Demetri apparently got stitches in his nose from Kreese's punch.

Okay so Demetri did tell Eli that it was Kreese who hit him because Eli tells Miguel that Demetri couldn't handle training with Kreese, and just marks it off as not cobra kai material not, random dude whose been at our dojo assaulted my friend.

I am proud that Miguel actually tells Johnny his concerns that Demtri got roughed up by Kreese and that his stories don't match up. I.e. Kreese is hitting students when you're not around and lying.

Aisha want to go to the beach? Reality: country club.

What I am realizing is that Daniel is going after rich parents rather than general parents. And Johnny's dojo is open for whoever wanders in. Which Daniel's arguably is too, but he's targeting a very specific sect of the population which is kind of his own anti-thesis even if these are the people he knows.

So Aisha and Sam are fighting because of the valley fest, a friendship since 3rd grade. A friendship Sam didn't defend when everyone was bullying Aisha and Aisha didn't really defend back...Robby here with the go talk to her. (I don't know why Aisha is mad about it, they clearly won the Valley fest upsurping. I guess because Sam's dad is making targeted campaigns at Aisha's dojo? Which is the dojo that taught her confidence and gave her friends after her only friend abandoned her to bullies. Ah, right. Snakes in the grass, the very Tom Cole advertisement campaign. Btw did Johnny's return shot kicking a bonsai actually get sent to the internet?

I think that would hurt, your best friend abandoned you, you still think her dad's cool but then the dojo you're in he starts calling snakes in a grass and trying to usurp which makes it feel like the dad you were defending also hates you all of a sudden without knowing any context.

Aisha takes the last piece of pretzel bread.

Marshall is the name of the manager at this club and he recognizes Robby.

Again I love Amanda. She shuts down Marshall very firmly then sits with Robby to listen to what he has to say. So far I think she's really the only clear headed listening character we've got.

Kreese out here threatening people over the phone, threatening war and to burn the place down. He says he's at the Universal City Sheraton.

Johnny's keys are different. The lucky rabbit's foot is new. He used to have some firebird logo which I guess was for his firebird. Though even before he got the dojo he's had a lot of keys around. It's also not to safe for him to just keep his keys lying around, pretty sure at any moment Kreese could've made a duplicate.

Daniel's drinking a Cornoa

Aisha's mom is named Sandra

I love that Sandra filmed it, such a proud mom. Which again goes to prove that they got permission and told people they were doing it.

Tory swiped a bottle of Vodka and Sam immediately tells her she shouldn't have done so. Which as Aisha's guest, Aisha should've probably done that.

There's no way Kreese doesn't know Johnny's following him. He's in a custom cobra kai car. It's like trying to tail someone in an oscar myer winer mobile.

Daniel's sad little "Are you my mr. miyagi?" walk to the tune of that little duck looking for it's mother.

Sam gave up on Aisha because of Tory...who she doesn't know, after a halfway decent conversation. A girl who wants to drink and party, the same way Yasmine and Moon always did? The same Yasmine who hit a car and then never told anyone about it (Yes Johnny popping up out of nowhere was probably terrifying but still)

It is on Sam to immediately blame Aisha's new friend on her mother's wallet going missing. Yes she lifted a vodka and made a crack about stealing the silverware, but she didn't say anything about stealing anything from specific people. Maybe that's too nuanced, but I feel like Tory would steal from a rich place rather than individuals. And she stole a vodka and then they left to drink, why would she then try to steal from a bag? LIke two places at once?

Sam immediatly goes for Tory's bag and tries to grab it and Tory defends herself and looks horrified that Sam fell into the food tray.

That was totally an accident.

Aisha is still mvp for checking on sam and then when sam spits back venom tells her she shouldn't have accused her of something like that.

Johnny you're car isn't even quiet, and how'd you follow Kreese from this angle as he's walking towards you from the other end of the building.

West Hunter Street (perfect name for a place Kreese is staying) Baptist church

That's a look Robby. I'm pretty sure your dad has a sweater in those colors. Also the checkboard emo/goth/punk pants with the beachy shirt look. Looks like their hiding spot is under the stairs to the beach.

Robby ready to film on a moments notice. He's been so ready for a fight to film all day.

I always remember that Robby doesn't win the fight, I always forget a third random person pops up with a paddle and hits him upside the back of the head.

John's roommate broke the lock off his footlocker. I never know how much of Kreese's life is truth and how much isn't. Like he's faked his own death twice, he lies about serving after the Vietnam war, whose to say he actually is living here? Because there's no way mr. everyone is an enemy you can never drop your guard didn't notice Johnny's terrible tailing job.

Father and son getting in choke holds. Johnny would've taught Robby how to escape that first thing.

Daniel meanwhile skips the stairs and jumps off side to get there. Which, btw, is now Daniel fighting a bunch of teenagers to save a kid in trouble just like Johnny did first thing in season 1 and Daniel and the police took Kyler's side in that case. Difference, there were more teenagers harassing Miguel and Kyler and his dudes didn't have a knife.

I'm surprised with Daniel's knee he could do that drop, but I guess...the injury fully healed?

Trey to Johnny: sarcastic-mean but then shuts up when Johnny snaps back at him. Trey to Daniel: Grandpa. ...So does Trey think Daniel is older than Johnny? Also he totally knew previously that Daniel was the karate guy, so why would he be like yes let me fight Daniel?

Daniel: come on lets go

What about all the stolen wallets? What about Robby's phone? It doesn't show them grabbing any of them. Also did anyone see to Robby's head wound?

Kreese's decor is a picture of himself (not sure if the flag and cross are his or if it's just american church mainstays)

oh he has a cork board can't read any of it though looks like an old signed pin up

An old war buddy offered him a job but he felt it was a hand out. So that must've been silver maybe after tkk3 Silver offered him a job at Dynatox?

Kreese says for the last 10 years he's been living in places like this, so not necessarily this church.

Kreese: I heard about the all-valley and thought there was my second shot...you mean your third shot? He also conveniently left out that he did travel and go to Tahiti (that is where Silver sent him right?) he just downplayed that to go straight into the army psychiatrists said I couldn't re-enlist and I went here and there rather than accept any help until now. "I feel like a broken man Johnny. I don't think i can be fixed."

True. You're still a scheming snake, but you also picked exactly the right way to get Johnny to let you coach.

You gotta do things my way, does that work for you?

Johnny you gotta stop doing handshake deals, no one lives up to them. Every handshake deal you've done gets betrayed.

That sure is a way to hold a hand after a hand shake. It's weird Kreese, very weird. Gives off friendly grandpa atmosphere and very touched rescued old man, whose grateful (But doesn't accept handouts,) yet at the same time like you're going to try and break Johnny's wrist.

Johnny looks so confused and unsure how to handle comforting Kreese. But he goes for the pat on the back.

lol is that Kreese's footlocker? How'd the guy break in? Like what are you hiding in there Kreese?

Sam and Miguel parallel over trying to get through to someone and being left ignored/on read.

Looks like it's a new day and Robby's head still hurts. Did they ever take him to the doctor? Or we just skipping that because Daniel and Amanda are not legal guardians and would have to explain that they do know where to find Johnny but Daniel refuses to tell Johnny.

Robby: this video could go viral and we could get more students. Daniel changing his mind again: Miyagi-do is protecting yourself and others not for the credit. We let those who need us find us.

Demetri shows up and immediatly points out how confusing it is to figure out where to go and how to get their attention. Through the gate, the doorbell? And the immedatily : How much does it cost to maintain a koi pond in California's drought.

It is at this point that Johnny gives Kreese the title sensei. Which he never should've done, but he's all hear for giving people another chance. Which is very sweet, but then everyone tramples all over it and generally doesn't give him one.

Miguel are you sure? (good kid) Johnny: I'm helping my sensei whose down and out and Demetri makes a mountain out of a molehill so that fight was probably nothing right? Gotta help support our homeless veterans how we can. Not realizing said veteran is going to usurp him. Kreese also immediatly tells them all his plan, that you make your enemy think you're retreating and that's when you strike the hardest. Which Hawk loves and Miguel goes uhhhh sensei you're a little gullible, this guy is going to steal your dojo. We are all in danger.

[raincitygirl76]

One thing I really enjoyed about Heartstopper Season 2 is it started to show the cracks in young love. That romantic love is wonderful, and supportive friendships are also wonderful. But neither of them are necessarily all-conquering.

Please note I haven’t read the books yet, so maybe this gets addressed later on.

Charlie seems to have some mental health issues which Nick’s love and support are unlikely to magically fix. Neither will the love and support of their friends group. And Darcy’s family being unsupportive is an ongoing issue that is causing her significant stress, to say the very least.

Even though Tara is a loving and supportive girlfriend, and even though their friend group band together to provide support to Darcy when her family are being difficult. Matters are exacerbated by Darcy being legally a child still. She’s basically stuck until she’s both a legal adult and has finished her secondary education.

Now, I’m not saying either Charlie or Darcy are doomed just because of shitty life circumstances. I’m quite sure that Nick the compulsive googler is worried about his boyfriend, and Nick may play a decisive role in Charlie getting psychological help. Charlie (quite rightly) trusts Nick’s good intentions. If Nick is worried about him, Charlie might be more inclined to talk honestly with a professional.

Just as Tara being Darcy’s girlfriend and offering loving support may enhance Darcy’s resilience, and help her cope better with family bullshit. Tara could also be the canary in the coal mine, if in the future things ever escalate to the point where Darcy can no longer live in her family home, for either her emotional or physical safety. Obviously this is all highly speculative.

But neither Nick and Tara’s romantic love nor a fabulous network of mutually supportive friends can FIX Charlie and Darcy’s problems. They can help, they can make a big difference, but there’s no magic wand.

Season 1 was more focused on the joy, butterflies, and heartbreak of falling in love for the first time. Also on the way friendship groups change and coalesce as life circumstances change. Ex: Charlie, Tao, and Isaac coming to terms with changes in their long-standing quartet once Elle switched to an girls school. Elle making friends with Tara and Darcy at her new school, and introducing them to her friends from Truham. And of course, Charlie trying to integrate Nick into the gang, with vigorous opposition from Tao. Not to mention the conflicts between Nick and his rugby friends as they saw Nick drifting away from them in favour of a bunch of uncool weirdos.

Season 1 was delightful, but Season 2 felt more…grown-up. It was still a blast to watch, but it felt like these young people are maturing.

Honourable mentions to the following S2 awesome bits which I didn’t mention yet:

1. Elle and Tao’s romance, Elle’s painting, and Tao’s mother’s absolute heartwarming delight that her son is now dating Elle.

2. Isaac’s romantic and sexual crisis, a journey so memorably leading him to the realization that there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s perfect and whole just as he is. He’s asexual and aromantic, and there’s a whole community of other people like him out there. There are even BOOKS about people like him.

3. Imogen breaking up so memorably with that goddamn attempted rapist Ben Hope, and getting drawn into Nick’s new friendship group as her S1 crush on Nick deepens into friendship. And maybe discovering she might be more than an ally. Very intrigued to see what, if anything, happens with Imogen and Samar in S3.

4. Nick calling out Ben with, “No, I hate you because you literally assaulted him.” I understand why the show didn’t really give a name to Charlie’s trauma at Ben’s hands in S1. They didn’t soft-pedal it emotionally, even though they never really label it as attempted rape. S1 Charlie was obviously traumatized, Nick was obviously repelled by Ben’s actions and desperately worried about Charlie. But the vocabulary wasn’t there, for whatever reason. It took until S2 for Nick to say to Ben, “you literally assaulted him,” with all the rage that reminder deserved. And I cheered!

5. My darling Mr Ajayi (my favourite S1 side character!) got a love interest in Mr Farouk. Who is such a polar opposite in personality to Mr Ajayi, but somehow, they click. And if they get married someday, they DAMN well better invite Coach Singh and her wife to the wedding. After all her yenta-ing to encourage them.

[sirdust]

so i would like to clarify first before saying anything else that i only claim to speak for myself. others are allowed to feel however they wish about everything that's gone down, but i feel like i have to say my piece.

in retrospect i can understand fully why i was such a passionate defender of vivziepop and her work in 2019. she was an underdog who was doing something new, and that something new really resonated with me and became a special interest of mine for years. and at the time the vast majority of cases made against her had been made in bad faith, but looking back i think the shit with brock baker really was the canary in the coal mine.

from her liking his response on twitter where he turned things around to claim his accuser (an 18-year old girl) had been the one abusing *him* to the fact she replaced him in helluva only because she got her dream VA on board for the role instead, all of it feels like a precursor to what was to come. and then you had everything with episode 8, which i genuinely don't believe we'll ever get to see. there is no way a legal dispute that severe could not have been avoided with proper planning and the fact patron money was essentially wasted is horribly unprofessional. and the unprofessionalism doesn't end there, because we know for a fact now that erin frost was telling the truth, because vivzie's lawyer sent her a fucking cease and desist.

and when it comes to hazbin and not helluva, choices have been made that feel downright spiteful. cherri bomb's design had zero simplification. vaggie's name was unchanged. the promo video posted today showed that they have completely ignored the valid criticism of the usage of vodou symbols and are in fact showing them off as part of their brand. why do we still not know where the show is being released, despite the fact we have a release window? why do we not have any official casting announcements, despite the fact that likely cast members have been hinting heavily at their involvement? is it to avoid more fandom infighting? that's insane. it's been almost a year and you can't avoid the second wave of blowback forever.

i know this is all harsh but i'm sorely disappointed with how everything has shaken out.

(this is ok to reblog)

[justfor2am]

Could we get some small rancher duo hurt/comfort?

The first death was always the most anticipated, and in this world in served two roles.

To see who the universe assigned together by way of slaughter, and who was the unlucky fool stuck with them. How ironic, (how predictable,) that the coal mine suffocated its poor canary.

The universe was funny in that way. Jimmy had not yet come to accept his fate: that of the first death, the hallmark of ruin for himself, the bell that tolled when all hope was lost. And yet here he was, standing at spawn watching his newly discovered soulmate attempt to smother out the last few fiery sparks of his own flustered frustration.

Tango was terribly embarrassed. Here they were, the one's the sever had long since regaled as the most likely to go first, and the world had knotted their hearts together without a hint of regret.

They lived with their mutual failings, and kept those words hidden from the other. It was awkward, clumsy, the way both were keenly aware that a false move would be more likely than not, another death, and yet the stumble of Jimmy's footsteps or muffled hiss of a stifled flame brought smiles to the other's face.

It was easy to care for one another, because who else will?

The second death was another unlikely happenstance: a desperate attempt to become strong, to sew magic into the few paltry items they had, became a quick cause for death.

Jimmy could feel the red in his heart burst open, and he remembered how much he hated the feeling. Tango felt it too, and their mutual disgust was kept quiet, like everything else. They sought revenge, but that, much like everything else in their little farmhouse of a home, was short-lived.

The first ones dead, yet again.

"I'm sorry," Jimmy spoke first, his specter hovering next to a familiar tombstone in their garden. "I didn't want things to end this way, I wanted to win, us to win."

"What're you sorry for?" was the reply, distant and foggy, the echos of cave walls revealing where Tango's soul laid trapped. "I was the idiot that got us killed, again. It's my fault."

"I'm cursed, Tango," Jimmy said with a bitter laugh. "Everyone knows it. I pretend I'm not but, but it just keeps on happening. Stupid canary curse," he scoffed, perching himself on the fence outside their yard. "It would've been nice to win with you. Show them all we're good for something."

"Of course you're good for something," Tango answered, the distant drips of cave water splashing down into caverns below. "We might not be the best fighters, but we had a home. We had a cow farm before anybody else did, and horses, and chickens."

"And a warden," Jimmy added in his head, a soft smile on his face.

Somewhere within the world, a bell tolled. "That'll be another pair," Jimmy murmured, looking up at the sky. He hoped that, wherever it was Tango was stuck, he could see a piece of the sky too.

"They always drop like flies after you go," Tango hummed. "Maybe that's it."

"Hm?" Jimmy turned his attention down to the ravine, and wondered how much blood it would take to stain it red.

"Your curse," Tango said. "Maybe you're not just the first to go because of who you are. Maybe you're the one that's keeping everybody else alive. No one dies before you," he thought aloud.

The two stayed in silence for a little while, mulling the idea over. Jimmy quite liked it, the thought that he was the one keeping green in the rest of the server's eyes, that his death wasn't just laughable; it was tragic.

Strangely enough, it made him feel wanted.

"Well, if I was to die with anyone else," Jimmy spoke up, "in a weird way, I'm glad it was you."

Tango laughed, low and scratchy, familiar and safe in so many ways. "In an even weirder way, me too."

[mattzerella-sticks]

Right? He keeps saying it's to protect her and she's like I don't want that and he's like fuck that bc it's not really the real reason. It was so obvious when he was happy as fuck with his new powers and Kimiko was dying in the van like... And his face when butcher opened the trunk full of V, he was talking about helping them but you could see it was really about getting more V. They showed us how insecure he's become about starlight and her superpowers it's not so much that he he wants to protect her it's that HE wants to protect HER , he can't even stomach her opening a couple of jars for him which is the most telling thing for me and then them having him open that jar for her this episode especially since he and the audience knows she can open it herself just really says it all. She opened those jars after he couldn't as in she was helping him, he just did it himself when she didn't need him to bc it was actually for himself which is basically a microsome of how this whole thing is going down. He's gonna do some absolutely vile shit by the end of the season.

Oh yeah he's falling into that horrible mindset and, ironically, I think it'll be Billy to snap him out of it - to be his Canary in the coal mine - to say "this isn't you. This is me. We need less people like me and more people like you."

Because Hughie is a stand-in for Billy's brother. And whats happening is what Hughie turning into what Billy's dad wanted his brother to be, and Billy failing to protect Hughie this way.

I think this all began once Hughie realized Victoria was a supe, and that everything he believed has crumpled to dust (sort of like in the beginning of s1 when Hughie realized Supes were bad despite being a supe fan) so he's searching for something to give him purpose and to make an impact so he's leaning into Billy's ways despite everyone, even Billy, recognizing that it's not healthy. It's like how guys see girls like a 'bad boy' and try to mirror the behavior without understanding what is really attracting them.

Again, he's only trying to prove to himself - not to the team, and not to Annie - that he's not worthless, which is a struggle we can also say he shares with Homelander and A-Train this season.

[mianavs]

coming to conclusions

part 9 of Cathexis

a/n: hiiii i’ve been working on this update and haven’t done much else lol. it’s a long update but i didn’t want to split it. after this ill work on the stuff in my inbox :)

wc: 4.1k+

Cathexis

Expecting the unexpected was a concept that had been engrained into your psyche at a young age. It saved you countless of times during missions and only improved over time—at least until that fateful meeting with Illumi. Since then, your actions grew erratic and the precautions you once took when dealing with the unknown were forgotten. When it came to Illumi, you were a reckless mess and it was that recklessness that led to your current situation—Illumi’s lips pressed against yours.

Maybe it was the adrenaline that coursed through your veins whenever Illumi was nearby. Or perhaps it was your inexperience in all things carnal. Whatever the reason, you didn’t reject his kiss and instead tilted your head to give him ease of access to your mouth.

Illumi’s kiss was paradoxical.

Unlike his cold cut-throat self, Illumi’s lips were gentle and almost hesitant against yours. He took his time caressing, nipping, and sucking on your lips until they tingled with numbness. It wasn’t until you let out a whimper that Illumi’s warm tongue delved into your mouth and languidly tasted every crevice, clouding your mind with desire.

The low groan that erupted from his throat and reverberated in your conjoined mouths was what snapped you out of your hazy state of mind to reality. Your hands traveled up Illumi’s chest and gently pushed him away until the clear strand of saliva connecting the two of you broke.

“We can’t,” you panted and you couldn’t help but notice his parted swollen lips, labored breathing, and the dust of pink on his cheeks. Illumi looked beautiful and that realization alone frightened you enough to tear your gaze away from him.

“Is it because of Hisoka?” The accusatory tone threw you off.

“Wha- no!” You blurted out in disbelief. “Why are you even bringing him up?”

Illumi’s hand took you by the chin and forced you to face him. The intensity of his gaze was unsettling as he scrutinized your face and you tore away from his grasp as soon as you could.

“Forget it. I’ll let you rest.” He stated, any remnant of emotion stripped from his voice.

As Illumi stood up and sauntered to the door, your mouth opened with a protest on the tip of your tongue but your sense of judgement returned, effectively killing the words on the spot.

If Illumi resented you for rejecting him, he didn’t show it when he visited the next morning with Canary in tow. As the young butler fed you your medicine and helped you with your physical therapy, the weight of Illumi’s eyes made you wish he’d been upset enough to avoid you.

But that wasn’t Illumi and the assassin escorted you to a greenhouse in a corner of the Zoldyck mansion where a breakfast for two was set up. Breathing in the fresh air and admiring the beautiful flora around you was enough to take your mind off the previous night’s events. So when Illumi helped you take a seat on the wrought iron chair before taking his seat opposite you, any lingering awkwardness dissipated and all of your attention was on the plate of food in front of you.

After taking a couple bites, you turned your attention to the assassin in front of you and broke the comfortable silence to get any information you could about the world outside the mansion’s walls.

“How was your mission?”

“It went well. The target was eliminated.”

“Where was the job?” You asked, pushing the subject to see if it would take you where you wanted.

“York New,” Illumi then paused, narrowing his coal eyes slightly. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, just curious,” you took a sip of juice. “I’m just not used to being holed up in one place for too long.”

“Then just tell me.” He leaned forward and uncrossed his arms. “What do you want to know.”

You sighed knowing there would be no beating around the bush with Illumi. “The aftermath…of Saul’s death.”

Illumi quirked his head and furrowed his brow slightly as he thought over your words for a moment before the metaphorical light bulb went off in his head. “Ah- you want to know if your reputation is still in ruins.”

You winced at his harsh words but nodded, nonetheless. “I just want to know what awaits me when I go back.”

“It’s not what it used to be but his death definitely helped.” He paused for a second. “That mafia boss also did some damage control in your stead.”

“Who? Ruo Wen?” Illumi nodded before finishing the last bit of his breakfast.

The last time you’d been in contact with your last client, he’d merely confirmed your payment and wished you a speedy recovery but didn’t say anything beyond that. Ruo Wen wasn’t the type of person to go around doing favors for others without something in return, so you anticipated that the next time he contacted you for a job there would be no denying him.

“I suppose it’s better than nothing,” you admitted, stabbing a piece of fruit with your fork. “I’ll be able to get some work.”

“You wouldn’t have to worry about that if you married me,” he suggested and memories of the night before flooded your mind.

“I-I can’t-” There was an edge to your voice as you scrambled to come up with an excuse.

“But you eventually will so why not get it over with.” Illumi pushed and you knew he wouldn’t be satisfied until you gave him an answer

“Because! I-” You took a deep breath to steady yourself. “I’m in no rush to get married. I need to help my parents as much as I can and I’d like to enjoy whatever time I have left being single.”

The assassin remained silent and you decided to get some answers for yourself. “Why did you kiss-”

An unfamiliar presence in the greenhouse caused you and Illumi to turn in the direction where it came from. It was Illumi who recognized the intruder first and called out to them.

“What are you doing here, Kil?”

Silver hair emerged from the greenery and you smiled at the sight of Killua, your preferred Zoldyck. The young boy looked surprised to see Illumi and visibly tensed when Illumi stood up, simultaneously emitting the faintest hint of bloodlust.

“Canary said Y/N was in here…” Killua stopped when Illumi took a couple of steps towards him. Seeing him in action, you were reminded of the type of person Illumi Zoldyck was and your convoluted feelings towards him sorted themselves out.

“That’s enough, Illumi.” You reached out and held his wrist in a vice-like grip.

“He interrupted us,” Illumi deadpanned

“No, we’re done here.” Was your pointed reply before releasing his wrist. “I want to spend time with Killua.”

The slight tensing of his jaw was all you needed to confirm he wasn’t pleased with your declaration but you stood your ground until Illumi finally relented.

“I have a meeting with father so I’ll leave first.” Illumi turned to leave but not before addressing his brother. “Take care of her, Kil.”

Looking down at the forest from the top of Kukuroo mountain reminded you of home. The thin air and cool winds that tickled your face were so familiar you couldn’t believe it. All you had to do was close your eyes to picture the cliff your home sat upon and hear the waves of the sea crashing against it. Most of the memories you held near and dear to your heart involved diving off the cliff into the cool sea water with—

“Y/N!”

Immersed in your memories, you opened your eyes expecting to see your brother but found a worried Killua instead.

“It looked like you wanted to jump off.” He motioned to your hands gripping the balcony’s railing and your body leaning over.

“Ah-sorry! This just reminded me of the cliff back home. My little brother and I like to dive off of it into the sea.”

Stepping away from the balcony, you resumed walking the perimeter of the mansion. After being cooped up inside for so long, your readily accepted Killua’s tour of the Zoldyck family’s grounds and the two of you were just about finished.

“Illumi never mentioned you had a brother.

“Well he’s only eleven plus he hasn’t gotten his license yet.” Was your explanation although you doubted Illumi and the Zoldyck adults didn’t know about your baby brother given their profession and the relationship of your families.

“Is he also getting his when he turns thirteen?” There was a liveliness in his step and big blue eyes that reminded you of your brother. So as Killua matched your slower pace and waited for your reply, you found yourself caring about the middle Zoldyck sibling more than you’d ever anticipated.

“Yes, it’s our family’s tradition. In fact, I haven’t been able to see him lately because he’s been busy training.”

“Is the Hunter Exam that hard?”

You paused, thinking back on your experience, before you formulated your response. “It’s difficult for most adults with years of martial arts training so you can imagine how hard it must be for a kid. That being said, your family, like mine, doesn’t raise children normally so I’m sure if you ever decided to take the exam you would pass.”

The smile that spread across Killua’s face was infectious and you matched it with as much vigor and went so far as to ruffle his soft silver hair affectionately.

For the remainder of your stay at the Zoldyck mansion, you failed to cross paths with Illumi again. Upon returning to your room after spending the entire day with Killua, Canary informed you of Illumi’s departure for a long mission and the news came as a relief to your troubled mind.

You hoped that the time apart would serve to smother the flames of attraction Illumi’s kiss ignited.

Any further interaction with the Zoldycks—excluding Killua—was also avoided as most of them also embarked on missions of their own. The one’s left behind had been Kikyo, Milluki, and Killua which meant you weren’t summoned to any more awkward meals with the former two. For the last few days of your stay, you watched over Killua train for the upcoming Hunter Exam.

On your last day, you bid Killua and Canary farewell and trekked down the mountain debating where to go. York New was always a possibility but with your reputation the jobs would surely be difficult in your weakened state. Heaven’s Arena was also a possibility but the thought of crossing paths with a certain magician changed your mind. In the end, your weakened state and the time spent with Killua contributed to your destination—home.

A quick call to your mother confirmed your brother’s return home from his training trip and you looked forward to the time you’d spend together with him while regaining your strength. On the way to Padokea’s capital airport, you stopped by a souvenir shop to look for a gift for your brother. It was a fun little tradition in your family to bring souvenirs to him after returning home from missions, and as far as you knew, your parents hadn’t stepped foot onto Padokea ever since that event almost nineteen years ago.

A miniature version of Kukuroo Mountain on a shelf caught your eye and, after checking the price, you picked it up and took to the front. As the cashier rang you up, your phone rang with an unknown number lighting up your screen. You answered it immediately thinking it was a potential client but Illumi spoke instead.

“What did you tell him?” It was faint but you could hear the vexation in his voice.

“Tell who?”

“Killua ran away from home after injuring Mother and Milluki and I think you have something to do with it.”

You scoffed in disbelief before shutting down his accusation. “I didn’t tell Killua to attack your mother and brother. He was curious about the Hunter Exam so he probably left to take it.”

A harsh, derisive laugh filled your ear as you took your gift and stormed out of the shop. “Only a few days and you already filled his mind with foolish notions.”

“And what’s so bad about Killua becoming a hunter?”

“He’s not cut out to be a hunter. He was raised to be an assassin and cannot stray from that path.” Illumi answered, as if the reason had been obvious all along.

“He’s just a kid and deserves to have a say in what he wants to do.” You replied firmly, remembering the excited expression on Killua’s face during training. “He can work as a hunter just as well-”

“Of course an outsider like you wouldn’t understand. The Zoldyck name is synonymous with assassins. The heir can’t possibly be hunter instead.”

Illumi spoke to you like a child and if there was one thing you hated most it was being belittled. You’d been plagued by it during your rookie years and refused to go through the same thing again—even if it came from a dangerous man like Illumi.

“You’re right, Illumi, an outsider like me will never understand the inner workings of the Zoldyck family so maybe this engagement shouldn’t take place.”

Ending the call before Illumi could reply, you took a couple deep breaths before making your way to the airport now more eager than ever to return home and escape the madness that was Illumi Zoldyck.

Unlike your previous visit home, you took your time passing through the small town near your home. It was a small town that mostly profited off fishing. Many of the grounds people that worked at your home belonged to families that had lived in town for generations. Such was the case, the people that waved as you passed by were familiar to you and they knew you as well.

“Y/N!”

The distinct raspy voice from behind you sure enough turned out to be Jakob, a fisherman and the son of your family’s cook. He was a couple years older than you but the two of you grew up together and he’d been the one to teach you how to swim.

“Long time no see, Jakob! How’ve you been? How’s Petra?”

“I’m hanging in there,” Jakob grinned and held out a wooden box to you. “Petra’s six months pregnant, you see.”

You took the box and found it to be heavy and smelled like fish. “Oh congratulations! I can’t believe it’s already been a year since your marriage. You better be treating her well, Jakob.”

“I know, I know.” He replied with a roll of his eyes. “By the way, take that to my dad so he can cook it up for you and your brother. It’s from today’s catch.”

A peak into the box confirmed your suspicion and you recognized it as your brother’s favorite.

“Thanks,” you replied and closed the box. “Do you know what it’ll be?”

“The baby? It’s a girl. We found out last week.” He admitted with the biggest-shit eating grin you’d ever seen.

“She will be spoiled rotten by the two of you and your dad!” You laughed imagining old man Olvar playing with his granddaughter. “I don’t know much about kids but I’ll be sure to prepare a gift for her.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” and Jakob paused. “What about you? When are you settling down and having a family of your own?”

Jakob’s words triggered the memory of your first conversation with Illumi and you shuddered remembering his expectations of a wife.

“Not anytime soon,” you replied, shaking your head to rid yourself of the memory. “Well, I should really head up now. Say hi to Petra for me!” And with that, you said goodbye to your childhood friend and continued the trek up to your family’s home.

Passing the last home in the outskirts of town, the paved road ended and the dirt road that led all the way to your home began. The incline was quite steep but after years of climbing, you hardly noticed it. Besides, the scenery that surrounded it served as a distraction. To your left was a thick coniferous forest that stretched for miles inland and supplied the town with plenty of lumber and game. On the right was the cliff’s edge and the crashing waves of the sea below. You could practically taste the salty sea water just from the wind itself as it blew past you, whipping your hair and causing goosebumps to form across the surface of your skin.

You wanted nothing more than to drop everything and jump into the chilling waters below. It was very tempting but you figured it would be more enjoyable with your brother so you picked up the pace.

No matter how many times you visited, the warm tickling sensation in your chest never failed to manifest when you stood on the front lawn and peered up at the imposing centuries-old structure. If there was one thing your grandfather did right, it was refurbishing the old family home. Electricity flowed through every corner of the house giving it the heat and lighting it needed while the new plumbing system gave adequate water supply to all of the bathrooms and kitchens. Therefore, while the outside walls gave off the appearance of an old fortress, the interior was as modernized as any home built in the last fifty years.

Upon entering, you instantly felt a presence following your every move and it only took a moment to realize who it was. Deciding to humor him, you took the wooden box and headed towards the kitchen waiting for your little brother to emerge.

After reaching the annex, a shadow to your right caught your eye but you were faster and avoided the small fist that whizzed past your right arm.

“Ugh, you noticed me didn’t you?” Your little brother pouted, relaxing his shoulders and stance.

“Nice to see you too, ” you grinned and reached out to ruffle his hair. “And of course I did you were way too obvious.”

He slapped your hand away and patted down his hair before his eyes lit up at the sight of the wooden box and the gift bag you brought. “Are those for me?”

“Well I suppose they both technically are but the fish in the box is dinner. The bag is your souvenir from Padokea.”

You handed him the bag before picking up the box. “Now let’s take this to Olvar.”

By the time you settled in, it was dinner time and you joined your brother in the dining room. It was then that the two of you caught up since the last time you seen each other almost a year ago. You told your brother about your missions and the training you did but made sure to leave out any information about Illumi and the Zoldycks. It had been one of the conclusions you and your parents came to when discussing the debt’s repayment; your little brother would have nothing to do with it.

“So how was Padokea? I don’t think our parent’s have ever been there.”

“Lots of forests and mountains and the towns are nice.” Was your short reply and you steered the conversation towards your brother. “So how was training? Where did you go again?”

“Rokario,” He replied, stabbing a piece of fish with his fork but said nothing else to your surprise.

“Hmmm isn’t that near the NGL?” you commented. “I don’t think I’ve been to the Mitene Union.”

That last comment captured your brother’s attention and he stared at you wide-eyed. “Really?! You’ve never been there?”

For the remainder of the evening, your brother went told you everything he knew about Rokario, NGL, and the other neighboring countries. He spent a large amount of time discussing the people, flora, and fauna native only to that area of the known world. He also told you about the medicinal properties of different plants from treating a common cold to serving as a poison antidote. In the end, he didn’t tell you about his training but you figured you’d find out first-hand over the next few days.

Training was to a hunter as sunlight was to plants; it was vital to their growth. That was a fundamental that’d been passed down in your family and was engraved in you. So over the next few days when you observed your little brother’s movements and Nen strength, it became clearer that he’d slacked off in training. He was more than happy to help you out with your training but when it was his turn he’d get tired quickly and would leave to rest.

You debated when to address the issue and in the end decided to do it the day before you were set to leave. The two of you went swimming for hours before heading to shore and eating the food  Olvar had packed you.

“So…what happened,” you began taking a swig of water to wash down your food. “You’ve been slacking off during training.”

Panic flashed on your brother’s face before he looked away. “The thing is…I don’t think I want to be a hunter.”

“Wait, what? Not be a hunter?” You couldn’t believe what you’d just heard. “We’re hunters, B/N. That’s just who we are. It’s family tradition!”

“I want to help people. I want to be a doctor. I want to go to school and be a normal kid!” Tears welled up in your brother’s eyes as he looked at you.

“O-okay, we can always just postpone taking the exam so you can go to school but-”

He stood up suddenly and shook his head, tears falling on the floor. “No! You don’t get it, Y/N! I don’t want to take the exam ever! I just want to do what I want to do, not what you, mom, and dad want me to do!”

With that, your brother darted towards the house leaving you dumbfounded and confused. Ever since he first started to talk, he’d always wanted to be a hunter like the rest of you. Your parents even had him start his training early since he’d follow you around anyway. Not to mention, he also had a natural talent when it came to martial arts and was strong—even before finding out he was an Enhancer.

That night, after dining alone, you tried to figure out what had changed your brother’s mind and concluded that something must have happened during his trip. The conversation you had with him regarding the trip came to mind and you remembered the animated way he told you about the people, animals, and plants. Your brother’s face when he told you about the different medicinal properties of plants came to mind. He looked so excited and proud of himself…almost like Killua when he was training with you for the Hunter Exam.

“Hah…”

The bitter realization that you’d acted just like Illumi was like a slap in the face. What right did you have to judge Illumi when here you were telling your brother he had to become a hunter? Once you came to that realization, you thought about Illumi’s reasoning behind not wanting Killua to stray from his path and wondered if it was similar to yours. You fell asleep late that night mulling over what you would tell your brother and whether you should apologize to Illumi.

The next morning, after packing a bag for your trip, you headed to your brother’s room and knocked on his door. You heard shuffling in his room after the first few knocks but he never opened the door, so you decided to talk anyway hoping he wasn’t too upset to ignore you.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. It’s just you caught me off guard and I didn’t know how to react. You deserve to do what makes you happy and if that’s being a doctor then I’ll support you and we can talk to mom and dad about it when you’re ready. I would like for you to at least take the Hunter Exam, though. You don’t have to be hunter but it would be nice if you were licensed at least plus there’s a lot of benefits that come with it.”

You paused to see if he would open the door but you didn’t hear him move. “Well, I’m heading out now. Stay safe, okay?”

In the end, you weren’t able to see you brother again so you asked the grounds people and Olvar to look after him while your parents were away. Leaving home was always a melancholic event but this departure in particular was gloomier than usual. You wanted your brother to be happy but the family’s legacy remained steadfast in your mind.

With a sigh, you pulled out your phone. The number Illumi had called you from had been a payphone and you had no other means of contacting him, so you scrolled through your contacts until a particular name appeared on your glowing screen.

[Hisoka]